Why this man should be your role model
“MOTHER YOU HAD ME BUT I NEVER HAD YOU.”
If there is a more harrowing or heart-wrenching lyric in a song, I have yet to hear it.
This, of course, is the start of John Lennon’s song, Mother.
The savage emotion of that opening line is possibly outdone by the next one.
“I WANTED YOU, BUT YOU DIDN’T WANT ME.”
When Steve Jobs was a young man he listened to ‘Mother’ on repeat. Over and over again.
Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, is now recognised as the god of Silicon Valley, the doyen of American business.
Steve Jobs was adopted.
His biological father, Abdulfattah Jandali, came from a wealthy Muslim family who were originally from Syria.
Jobs never formally met his father. Unbeknownst to both men, his father regularly served Jobs at a restaurant in San Francisco. Jandali, unaware that Jobs was his son, said he was a good guy who tipped well.
Before he went searching for his millions, Jobs went searching for a cure for his pain.
He looked to Buddhism. As a young man he travelled to India and sought out gurus and mystics.
On his return to America, he walked around barefoot. He tried scream therapy.
You might envy Steve Jobs’ achievements, but you wouldn’t want his torment.
The same goes for John Lennon and his song-writing partner, Paul McCartney.
Lennon was raised by his aunt Cynthia.
Paul McCartney’s mother died when he was 14-years-old.
Let It Be, written by McCartney, starts: ‘When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me.
It’s not the Virgin Mary who comes to the Beatle.
It’s his mother, Mary McCartney (née Mohin).
Lennon and McCartney, arguably the most influential and successful song-writing duo in the history of popular music both experienced significant childhood trauma.
For Lennon, it was the trauma of being abandoned. For McCartney, it was the trauma of loss.
Take a look at most mega-successful people and you will find that a common thread unites many of them.
In a surprising number of cases, they will have experienced profound trauma in their childhood.
The pattern linking beyond-your-dreams success and childhood trauma was first discovered by analysing prolific winners in sport.
When the standard athlete wins an Olympic gold medal, they’ve ticked the box. Subsequently they struggle to summon the same Herculean levels of motivation and discipline to repeat the feat.
Guess what was discovered when researchers surveyed individuals who had won multiple Olympic medals?
That’s right. Childhood trauma ranging from divorce to death to abuse.
Bradley Wiggins is a prime example. A supreme over-achiever, Wiggins won Olympics medals and the Tour de France.
Wiggins’s father, Gary was an alcoholic who departed the scene when his son was two.
A former professional cyclist, Gary Wiggins was only 55-years-old when he died from injuries sustained in a bar-room brawl in Australia. He was found unconscious in the street.
More recently, Wiggins has revealed that he was abused in his youth.
Lance Armstrong, former cycling icon cum role-model psychopath never knew his father.
Lance came into the world as Lance Edward Gunderson. His mother Linda and Eddie Gunderson divorced when he was two.
Lance later took the name of his stepfather Terry Armstrong with whom he had a strained relationship.
An ex-pro cyclist once remarked that the Tour de France is a race between 200 grown men riding around a country searching for their fathers.
While you might want the wealth and glory of some of the world’s most successful people, you probably don’t want the demons they have to carry.
However, not every billionaire tycoon, global popstar or world-conquering athlete is the product of a traumatic childhood.
There are exceptions.
Once such outlier is Chris Hoy.
Winner of six Olympic Gold medals and 11 World Championships, Hoy has a roll of honours which should scream - basket-case.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
Raised in a middle-class suburb of Edinburgh by David and Carol Hoy, the future star of British track cycling was privately educated. Hoy was an undergraduate at the University of St Andrews studying Mathematic and Physics. Funding from the National Lottery allowed him to train full-time.
Truth be told, Hoy isn’t the most charismatic individual in the world.
He’s not dull. He’s not boring.
Hoy is just, well… ordinary.
And, if you haven't suffered severe trauma in your formative years, this is precisely the reason why Hoy should be your role model!
Not thinking he was blessed with any special talent, Hoy believed he had to train harder than any of his competitors.
Initially, he never even dreamed of Olympic success.
But when his training partner Jason Queally won a gold medal at the Sydney Games in 2000, Hoy realised that “normal guys could win at the Olympics”.
Hoy sought advice from Queally and his gracious team-mate gave it to him.
Further inspiration came from Graeme Obree, a maverick, genius Scotsman who was breaking World Records on bikes that he was building himself (using parts from a washing machine).
Obree (then a closet homosexual who would later attempt suicide) trained with an intensity that was frightening. Every single session counted. He hammered himself.
Hoy studied Obree and concluded: ‘that’s how you need to train.’
Yet, perhaps the greatest factor behind Hoy’s success was his pragmatic approach to training.
He didn’t think in four-year cycles.
Hoy worked to a daily plan.
Every day was planned. He set himself goals for the gym and the track.
For every session, he wanted to hit certain numbers. He knew what he was going to eat and drink.
When the day was completed, he looked ahead to the next one.
Simples.
And it is simple.
If you want to get leaner, fitter and stronger - you don’t need to be blessed with any special gifts or genes.
You just need to take a leaf out of Chris Hoy’s book.
✅ BE HUMBLE. Understand you will achieve nothing without hard work.
✅ LEARN FROM THE WINNERS. Study the people who have got leaner, fitter and stronger. Learn from people who have got better results than you. These people are your Jason Queallys and Graeme Obrees.
✅ HAVE A PLAN FOR THE DAY. When are you going to train? When are you going to do your steps? What are you going to eat? How are you going to combine your health and wellness pursuits with the school run, your job, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking the children to training and everything else?
You don’t need to be a tormented genius to get leaner, fitter and stronger.
But you will need a plan!
PH
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